The leadership group of Seaton Swivell Village Ukulele Group yesterday made the decision to ban all politics from their group including political songs along with raft of other measures to counter the ”growing tide of wokery” that is infiltrating the ukulele world.
Jonathan Bustard, president of the group, spoke to the Periodical Uke anonymously yesterday to explain what this means.
”Now this may seem extreme but then we are trying to stand up to extremist inclusivity and diversity which is being enforced on our group via online social media ukulele pages and forums.. The best way we felt that we could do this without appearing to be ignorantly white, middle class and narrow minded was to ban any kind of politics from the group all together.”
The most notable move has been to remove all political songs their treasured Seaton Swivell Song Book. Once graced with songs like ”This land is your land” and other popular songs, the song book is now reduced to the one ”Teenage Kicks”
Asked whether this move seriously limited their repertoire, their musical director Linda Quaver denied it would have an impact.
”I think to suggest that only having one song in the song book limits our scope is just an attempt to undermine what we are doing. There is a large pool of talent within out group and we have the capacity to play any song in any genre. We now play teenage kicks in a different style every week and its opened up the song in an amazing way. Last week we played it reggae style. Next week is jazz. I’m currently developing a thrash metal version.”
Vera Wayfrom-Woke, has been attending the club for many years and was always scared of singing about something she doesn’t believe in.
”Don’t get me wrong. I like Bob Dylan but we had too many of his songs in the book.I have never really understood what he’s singing about so there was always the risk I was singing in support of a cause that I didn’t agree with. Last thing we want is hippies moving to the village because they think we’re big on gays and drugs. Last year we recorded a video of the group singing “Change is Gonna Come”. We thought nothing of it until the video started to go viral with 1 or two views per month. It suddenly dawned on us that actually some songs have powerful meanings and we did not want to change anything. We really think that music is at it’s very best when all meaning is removed from it.
Bustard explains that this move is part of a village wide aproach to what he thinks diversity and inclusion should be about. ”There’s a wealth of diversity in this village. Mrs Cuthbert, for instance, likes cross stitch. My wife doesn’t. Jack Lamper comes from London. Our vicar comes Scotland. We are totally not against diversity but we dont want to set precedents that sends that diversity out of control. “
On the same day, the village council decided that use of pronouns were closely associated with gender swapping. Though a concern that people would begin to change gender through using ”he or she” repeatedly, it was decided that the terms would be banned altogether. ”It just stops any confusion. You may infact be a bloke and use the pronoun ”he” or ”him”. Ofcourse thats fine but there’s always a chance you slip up, get it wrong, and the next minute you’re buying Laura Ashly frocks from the Heart Foundation Shop.” Explains Bustar. ”We’ve also banned abbreviations to avoid any confusion. In the sandwich shop we no longer offer BLT. Instead its a Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato Salad. It just prevents any chance of nice folk like Ron from the pub chowing down on a queer sandwich by accident.
The Periodical Uke will be monitoring progress on this over the next few months.